


End it all

by Prxnce_Kxsses



Category: Eddsworld - All Media Types
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Cutting, Drunkenness, Gen, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-01
Updated: 2018-03-01
Packaged: 2019-03-25 11:20:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13833087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Prxnce_Kxsses/pseuds/Prxnce_Kxsses
Summary: oof





	End it all

The voices on the TV went in one ear and out the other. Eduardo was doing his best to just pay attention, to just forget. He wanted to drink again. He knew it was awful for him, but his brain kept telling him to do it. 

_ Do it. _

_ It doesn’t matter. _

_ Do it. _

_ You don’t matter. _

Eduardo didn’t just want to drink, he realized. He wanted to end it all together. He wanted to die. 

He wanted to die because he knew that Todd was coming back. Just hearing his name made him feel sick to the stomach. Hearing his voice made him scared. He didn’t want Todd to come back, but he always did. He always came back and hurt Eduardo. Brought him down. He always teased Eduardo with death, too, pretending that he was going to kill him. Todd would torture Eduardo to the point where he was fully convinced that he would be killed, but then Todd would “change his mind” at the last minute on purpose. It was traumatizing, being told you’d die, accepting the fact, and then being told that the person who was going to kill you had changed their mind on doing so. 

Eduardo couldn’t do it. He couldn’t do it again.  _ Ever _ again. And it wasn’t like he could just tell someone. Todd would hurt him worse than ever before, he had made  _ that  _ clear. Besides, he deserved it, right?

He almost felt selfish for wanting to die. Todd had loved him, and he was just keeping him in his place. It was nothing wrong. And yet here he was, debating on staying alive or killing himself.

He couldn’t fucking live with himself. He couldn’t.

He stood up from the couch, shuffling off to his room. Nobody would stop him. People were scared of him. He was cold and tended to shut anyone out, and so nobody wanted to bother him.

He shut his door, swearing under his breath at the fact that the door had no lock. He would have preferred that, because he didn’t want anyone to find him. Whatever. It’s not like anyone would anyways.

Searching through his closet, he found a few secret bottles of vodka that he kept in there. He picked up one of them, and then went over to his bed, setting the bottle down on his end table momentarily. The end table had a little drawer on it. He put random junk in there, but he also put some things in there that could typically be dangerous if used wrong. He opened the drawer up, sifting through it now to find something sharp. He knew he’d put something in there at one point or another. And unfortunately, he did find something. A razor. He picked the razor up and then the bottle of vodka, and went to go sit down on his bed. 

First, he was going to get  _ very _ drunk. He wanted to numb himself before he did anything. He opened the bottle of vodka up, putting the glass bottle to his lips and tilted it so that the clear liquid would run down his throat. He drank fast, and it made his head feel fuzzy just like he’d wanted.  His stomach felt warm, and that was comforting to Eduardo. It made him feel like he wasn’t quite alone.

Eduardo leaned back for a moment, letting the effects of the alcohol take action. Drinking so much so fast made him feel sick, but in a little bit, it wouldn’t matter anymore. The alcohol in his system was drowning out his sadness in a sort of false happiness, or maybe even false bliss. It made him calm, telling him that he’d be forever safe if he just died.

So he was ready. 

He rolled up his left sleeve, and with a shaky hand, he picked up the razor. He brought it down to his skin and pressed down heard, dragging the razor down his arm, opening a deep wound. Blood spilled out, the crimson liquid running down his arm. It hurt, but in a way where it felt comforting. It felt okay. 

His left arm was shaking now like his right arm was. Really, his whole body was shaking at least a little bit. He leaned his head backwards, his breathing now shallow. He felt tired, as he was losing blood fast. He didn’t fight any of the tired or sleepy feelings he felt. He just let it all happen.

Slowly, he began to feel sleepy, and he knew it was time to go. He closed his eyes and fell asleep.

  
  


\-------------------------------------------

 

It didn’t feel like it had been very long before he woke up. The room he was in had white walls, and he was attached to an IV. The cut he’d made down his arm was stitched up and cleaned, and his head hurt horribly.

“E-Eduardo!! Oh gosh, we thought you were-.. We thought you were dead!!” Squeaked a familiar, nervous sounding voice.

 

Eduardo willed himself to look up to his left to see who it was.

It was Jon who’d spoken, and Mark was there too. Mark looked like he’d been nervous, but he looked very relieved now.

 

“See, Jon..? I told you he’d be alright..” Mark said to Jon softly, offering a little smile. Jon only nodded back a little, before turning back to look at Eduardo.

 

“A-Are you feeling alright??” Jon asked nervously, wringing his hands as he spoke.

 

Eduardo frowned a little, both disappointed that he’d failed in his suicide attempt, but also thankful that his friends had actually cared enough to bring him to the hospital. 

“I-.. My head hurts like a bitch, but I’ll be fine..” He mumbled out, his voice hoarse. He had another question though, since he was curious, and even a little scared. “Who-.. Who found me?” He asked.

 

“I did,” Said a voice to his right. An all too familiar voice. A voice that sent chills down his spine.

Eduardo slowly looked to his right, afraid to see who it was.

 

Todd smiled at him calmly, tilting his head to the side a little.

“Hello, Eduardo.”

**Author's Note:**

> should i make this a multi chapter fic idk


End file.
